Tis' the Season to be Confused

Well it's Christmas time! But to me it doesn't even feel anything like Christmas. I'm sure it doesn't help that we have less than no Christmas decorations up in our house. No tree. No wreaths. No extra snowmen. No fun little snowflakes all around. We have nothing to help bring in the spirit of this wonderful season.  Now its at the point where I actually went out and bought things to decorate, I bought a really cute reindeer thing for my car, it has a red nose on the front of my car, and the antlers on the tops of my windows! Super Cute!! I also bought some snowflake window stickies, and a poinsettia to keep in my room.
My older brother is not enjoying the holiday season, he keeps saying "I've been looking forward to December 26 sense before thanksgiving." This is not helping me get into the Christmas spirit.
I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that tomorrow is Christmas Eve!! Wow where did time go? Like just yesterday was when school started back up again,  time has come and gone, days have passed on by, weeks were here greeted us with a sometimes not-so-pleasant Monday morning, and end with a wonderful weekend. Months have past by with only the blink on an eye.
2014 has been one heck of a year! Joyful, Wonderful, Filled with new opportunities, Also filled with tears of joy and tears of sadness, A very stressful year as well.  So much has went on in 2014 that it would take a whole year to explain and tell the great, and sad stories that went on. 

I know way deep down in my heart that 2015 will be brilliant. 2015 has to be much much better! I know it does because 2014 was, well it just was. 

2014 was the kind of year that had to be, because it was the next in line, we have good years, we have bad years, we have great years, and we have years like 2014, a year that can't really be described in words, but more like feelings and emotions. A year that was full of new things, new beginning, new opportunities, new people and faces. New all around. Also a year filled with disappointment, empty promises, things that have been said that will never come true. But then again, I guess every year can be looked upon like that: Full of the good, full of the bad. Every year can be a year like 2014, or we can choose to move past the ugly, and set in our minds that every year can be like the 2015 we hope it will be. 

We can look back on every year and pick out the bad, the hurt, the sad, the unpleasant. But what good will that do us? What we actually have to do is set our selves to see the good, count our blessings. Pray to God that this coming year will be full of love, and, well, just different. 

2015 Will be Awesome

2015 Will be Great

2015 Will be full of Blessings

2015 Will be Different

2015 Will be different because I am choosing to make it different, my outlook on life is changing, the things that I am spending my time doing are changing. My whole life has to change. It just has to because I can't go on feeling this way. I can't go on constantly waiting for things to change when I'm doing nothing to change things. I am so tired of feeling this way. I know one way to change it, and I must take that way and just go for it.

Go for the only one who can make things right in my life. Give my heart completely to Him, But the thing is: I'm scared.
I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to just let go. How do I just let go of everything in my life? I don't know. That is the best answer I have, it really isn't even an answer, but it's all I've got. Because by myself I am not enough, I need Him in my life. He has been in my life for my whole life, but now He needs to BE my life. There is a difference, and I don't know where to start. 

I want to start off this new year with a new life. Get this chip off my shoulder, and lets ring in the new year with a new me. Let's start this off right. I am bound and determined to do this, and do it right.