Well it's new years eve and I can
practically feel the lips I won't be kissing tonight when the clock
strikes midnight and 2015 begins with a bang. Unlike most people I
will not be out at a party tonight, in fact I will most likely be
asleep in my bed at midnight tonight. Don't get me wrong, I would
have loved to have been invited to a party tonight, I would have
loved to have gone too! But due to the lack of friends, as well as
the over powering protectiveness of my mom, I shall be home sleeping
when well more than half the world will be out partying and having
fun, making memories that will surely last more than this year. I
guess the bright side is that I won't be working? Although I honestly
wouldn’t mind at all, I love my job, and I would gladly work
tonight all night actually!
I just don't want to be home, in my
bed, all alone tonight when 2015 begins. I don't know, maybe I should
just get over it and accept that it is what it is, and that I can't
change it. 2015 will start no matter what I, or anyone else has to
say or do about it. It will come and go, every day will start with
the sun rising, and end with the sun setting. There will be twelve
months in this year, there will surely be each day according to each
month as it is suppose to be.
I know that in this new year, things
will be different, not because I wish they
are going to be different, but because I am
going to make them different. I am choosing to change my life, which
in turn will change the world around me. Now I know this sounds
rather drastic, I am going to change, now anything and everything
else is going to change too. But really if you think about it. You
change, people see it and like it, inspiring them to also change,
which inspires everyone around them to change as well. It's a cause
to affect chain just like dominoes. Only instead of falling, and
knocking everyone else down too you are creating, building up, and
moving forward in life.
This is what life
is all about, getting to where you are going, not only when you are
there, but how you get there, who you meet on the way, and how you
can help them achieve their goal too. How you face the struggles life
will give you. Because there are bound to be many many struggles,
bound to be good days and bad days. You are bound to embarrass
yourself so bad that you don't even want to get up the next morning
and face what you have to face. But you are also bound to have great
days with unending smiles, butterflies in your chest and stomach, and
that awesome feeling you get inside only when you've done the right
thing, or helped someone you wouldn’t have on a normal occasion.
I have
never really done the whole 'New Years Resolution'
thing mostly because I can't actually commit to doing something like
'I am going to start going to the gym and get fit, and lose
35 lbs.' I just can't do it,
usually I end up getting really excited about something for like two
to three weeks, and I stay with it wholehearted for that long, but
them I forget, or miss it once or twice. Missing it multiplies to
forgetting for a week or so, then eventually just not going or doing
it at all. So instead of setting a new years resolution I will
instead just change the way that I do things, I am going to make a
conscience decision every day to see things differently, do things
differently, treat people in a different way. Find happiness in the
little things. Not be so angry, frustrated, or short tempered with
people or circumstances in life, because half the time, I just can't
do anything about it. I am going to live my life every day for the
one who loves me unconditionally, for the one who has given
everything to me, the one who will always be there for me no matter
what I do. Yahweh, I am going to praise Him for every minute of
everyday because I know that without him I am literally nothing.
Without him I don’t have any hope for anything, at all. I would
have no hope in tomorrow, no hope that the days would continue to
come, no hope that 2015 is going to be an awesome year. With Him I
have everything that I need, and most importantly I have Hope.
So to
sum things up I am going into 2015 with a changed heart, with my own
big bang. And you know what? who cares if I won't be getting kissed
this year? I am more than positive that it will happen one year or
another. 2015 is a changed year, I can feel it already. And you know
what I say to anyone who tells me differently? I say That I have
faith that things will turn out just exactly how God wants them to!
If that means being embarrassed, or not always knowing what to say,
then let it be. I say let it be. I am following what God has planned
out for me. I don't know what that is, but I do know that whatever it
is I am sure it will be awesome in one way or another. By this time
next year, I am expecting great things to come of my new year. Hey,
I'll be 18, I'll be in college, Semi on my own. I will be well on my
way to my own life and however God has it planned out for me is
exactly how I want it to be!
