Tis' the Season to be Confused

Well it's Christmas time! But to me it doesn't even feel anything like Christmas. I'm sure it doesn't help that we have less than no Christmas decorations up in our house. No tree. No wreaths. No extra snowmen. No fun little snowflakes all around. We have nothing to help bring in the spirit of this wonderful season.  Now its at the point where I actually went out and bought things to decorate, I bought a really cute reindeer thing for my car, it has a red nose on the front of my car, and the antlers on the tops of my windows! Super Cute!! I also bought some snowflake window stickies, and a poinsettia to keep in my room.
My older brother is not enjoying the holiday season, he keeps saying "I've been looking forward to December 26 sense before thanksgiving." This is not helping me get into the Christmas spirit.
I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that tomorrow is Christmas Eve!! Wow where did time go? Like just yesterday was when school started back up again,  time has come and gone, days have passed on by, weeks were here greeted us with a sometimes not-so-pleasant Monday morning, and end with a wonderful weekend. Months have past by with only the blink on an eye.
2014 has been one heck of a year! Joyful, Wonderful, Filled with new opportunities, Also filled with tears of joy and tears of sadness, A very stressful year as well.  So much has went on in 2014 that it would take a whole year to explain and tell the great, and sad stories that went on. 

I know way deep down in my heart that 2015 will be brilliant. 2015 has to be much much better! I know it does because 2014 was, well it just was. 

2014 was the kind of year that had to be, because it was the next in line, we have good years, we have bad years, we have great years, and we have years like 2014, a year that can't really be described in words, but more like feelings and emotions. A year that was full of new things, new beginning, new opportunities, new people and faces. New all around. Also a year filled with disappointment, empty promises, things that have been said that will never come true. But then again, I guess every year can be looked upon like that: Full of the good, full of the bad. Every year can be a year like 2014, or we can choose to move past the ugly, and set in our minds that every year can be like the 2015 we hope it will be. 

We can look back on every year and pick out the bad, the hurt, the sad, the unpleasant. But what good will that do us? What we actually have to do is set our selves to see the good, count our blessings. Pray to God that this coming year will be full of love, and, well, just different. 

2015 Will be Awesome

2015 Will be Great

2015 Will be full of Blessings

2015 Will be Different

2015 Will be different because I am choosing to make it different, my outlook on life is changing, the things that I am spending my time doing are changing. My whole life has to change. It just has to because I can't go on feeling this way. I can't go on constantly waiting for things to change when I'm doing nothing to change things. I am so tired of feeling this way. I know one way to change it, and I must take that way and just go for it.

Go for the only one who can make things right in my life. Give my heart completely to Him, But the thing is: I'm scared.
I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to just let go. How do I just let go of everything in my life? I don't know. That is the best answer I have, it really isn't even an answer, but it's all I've got. Because by myself I am not enough, I need Him in my life. He has been in my life for my whole life, but now He needs to BE my life. There is a difference, and I don't know where to start. 

I want to start off this new year with a new life. Get this chip off my shoulder, and lets ring in the new year with a new me. Let's start this off right. I am bound and determined to do this, and do it right.

Don't date!

Well when I say 'don't date' what I mean is don't date until you are old enough. And even when you are old enough don't date, You should court. I really hate seeing all these 14 year olds' running around saying how in-love they are with their 'MCM' or whatever. UGH it really drives me insane! I am a hopeless romantic, Pride and Prejudiced, the Princess Bride, the Notebook: all
 of these are great vouchers of that. but what I am saying is I hate the drama that takes over in a relationship whiten a young immature couple who are still in High School!

The Notebook (Credit Google)

Pride and Prejudice (Credit Google)

The Princess Bride (Credit Google)

I believe people should wait until they are plenty mature to date, because what is dating for? Answer: To find your future husband or wife! So why would these teenagers still in high school need/want to find their spouse? Answer: They really don't, all they really want is to be like everyone else and have a boyfriend or girlfriend to be there for them, and be intimate with! 
That's it. Kids are too young stupid and way to immature to practice being married! As much as my desire is to be a wife, and then later to be a mom, I am very willing to wait. For two reasons.

1. Right now I know I am not ready to have a relationship with my future husband
2. also people change, chances are if I do think I have met the person I am going to spend the rest of my life don't you think I would want to be really sure? Well I do want to be Extremely sure!

I have seen what happens when two people meet when they are young, get married, then change. This is not something I want to happen in my life to my future kids. So I am going to be very sure. Make this decision extremely carefully with guidance and wisdom from people in my life who's opinions matter: like My Mom, and My pastor/and his wife (who are also my best friends parents). I trust these people with my (future) life! (LOL)

Anyway I guess why I wrote this is just to say. Please think about a relationship before actually getting involved (in any manor). If and when you are courting someone, please talk with older mentors in your life and ask their opinion of this person and a possible future for you two. Then when they give advice, do yourself a favor and LISTEN! I am sure whatevery they say to you is only in your best interest!

Happy Birthday to ME!

Well, today is my seventeenth birthday! I don't really have any plans at all. Sometime this week we may be going to a theme park. Today my day literally consists of 1. waiting for my new phone to arrive in the mail, and 2. going to a 4-H meeting this evening.
I am not disappointing that I don't have lots of plans or a party planned, I don't know it's just weird. Usually this summer we have something going every day, and today, nothing. So far today all I have done is get myself ready for the day, eat a sandwich, make a coffee, and listen to music.
My friends are busy/working today so I can't really hangout with them. My big brother is still a camp councilor so I can't talk to him. I don't know I'm just very board!

Taken on my 17th birthday!

You know when people see you on your birthday and they ask "how does it feel being another year older" and you just lie and say "it feels great!" when actually you don't feel any different than any other day of the year? Yea, I think that is my lease favorite part of my birthday.

Leading up to my birthday I didn't have any expectations I really just wanted to be 17 like all of a sudden, BOOM it happened, no birthday, no fuss.  Don't get me wrong I like birthdays, I really do, I love getting presents and gifts! I just don't like being the center of attention.

The Sharpening Stone

In life there are many things you will have to do, some of which you won't want to do at all!
Right now I work at a very high end restaurant, now if you have seen Hell's kitchen you know how some bosses can be. My boss is not like that! But sometimes he can get a bit short with his employees, the other day we were in a big rush, and we just had a menu change that night. With our menu change we only had one item that was the same as the old menu. I was working on a FRIDAY night with over 150 reservations, plus walk-ins and working with someone who is new. I was very unprepared to work this shift. My boss got very short with me and my co-worker yelled at us and said "I honestly can't believe both of you are still working here!"
I was completely shocked at this, both me and my co-worker had no idea what was going on, we didn't know what to do, we had nothing to know what to prepare for this station.
As the night went on he kept coming by and checking to make sure everything was perfect. Needless to say that night was not a good night for me. When I got off of work it was really late, I wasn't feeling well, and on top of all that I had to go back to work the next morning.
At work the next day I had a literal realization of something when I was trying to cut veggies with a dull knife.
Its like I am the knife, and my boss is the sharpening stone. He only wants me to work better, to be the very best I can be. Sometimes he comes on a bit rough, but I have to keep in mind that it is only for good! To better my ability, and do my best in everything I do, and yes sometimes I will have to be sharpened, even the best of knives, or people, do!

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Modesty? Why I need it

Modesty is one of the most important things in my life and I'll tell you why, in just a minute. A common misconception in modesty (I think) is that people believe that being modest means you can't be stylish. Well I am here to tell you that is not true! You don't have to wear long baggy over sized clothing in order to be modest! I (in my opinion) am very stylish, and I even keep up with some of the latest trends! Now I know what your thinking, what do I usually wear? Well, excellent question, when I am not in my chef wear for work and my culinary school I love to wear jeans, with a black slight scoop neck shirt, short boots, sometimes my purple scarf or a necklace, depending on my mood. Okay and my absolute favorite church outfit is my black and white twirlier skirt, leggings, tall black boots, black textured blouse, and my favorite necklace! This outfit makes me feel great about myself! Honestly it gives me confidence in the way I look, and on top of that its super comfortable!

You know lately I have been thinking more and more about modesty, style and comfort and things along those lines regarding clothing. More times than not I chose comfort over anything else. Which leaves me with do I want comfort and style? Or do I want Comfort and Modesty? But why cant I have all three??
 I work in a restaurant, so obviously we wear chef coats, and most everyone wears a tank top under their chef jacket. I usually do too when I bring my own jacket in, however when I need to wear one that my work supplie exactly how He wanted you!
s I always wear a regular shirt instead of my comfortable tank underneath the chef coat. So today at work I had a literal "a ha!" moment, I realized why I go for modesty over comfort at work, or anywhere for that matter. I cover up not because I don't like my body, on the contrary! I love my body! Love the skin your in, because you only get the one, and God made you

 I choose modesty because I don't want every other man/women/random stranger seeing me. I was thinking about that today, my tank top shows a good bit of my upper back, all of my upper arms (its spaghetti strap) and a lot of my chest (right until my bra), plus my tank tops are tight~ish. All this to say that I don't want to encourage men looking at me that way!

Please don't get me wrong! I do not think women need to wear floor length dresses, and cover every inch of skin on their body! Now what I mean. I am just trying to say that you can be beautiful and modest and stylish and what ever you want with out showing off your body to every man women and child. Nobody wants to see your butt crack, so pull up your pants and put on a belt! Your cleavage? really? cover the girls up! Yes I'm sure you have a wonderful butt and legs and chest but do you really want men that are not your husband to see all that?

This is just about my every day outfit, I love me some converse too!

I would totally wear this!

Just about any one of these, top left: just add leggings

These are a few thing I like to go by:

For shorts, can you touch skin when your hands are by your sides? if yes, that's too short for me
For shirts of all kind, When I bend forward, can I see anything? Do this in front of a mirror.
Does of feel like another layer of skin? If yes, get a size or two bigger.
I never wear leggings by themselves, with skirts and under things, that's fine
I do like to wear tank tops in the summer, as long as they are not spaghetti strap
I like me some skinny jeans! but I don't need tps from wearing too tight of pants!
Okay and the big one If you wouldn't wear it in front of your pastor, dad, grandfather than you shouldn't be wearing it at all.

The Greatest Desire of my Heart

Well, let me first start off by saying this blog is for people who want the good honest truth of your average christian teenage girl (or is that an average thing?) because that is what I am going to give you. I wanted to start this blog, because the idea seemed like something I would want to read to further my education in biblical solutions to everyday struggles, and I thought other girls might want the same thing, and I wanted to do this because I adore writing, and what better way to express my love, than in something that will (hopefully) benefit others! Back to the point... I also want to hear from YOU! I don't really want this to be a one sided conversation, please comment! (That is, assuming anyone is going to read this.)
 So, here we go!

In the past few weeks I have been thinking and reading a lot about what the bible says about the desire of my heart, I have lots of plans and desires for my life, one of the really REALLY big ones is having a family, (no not like my brothers and sister, and Mom and Dad, I love them but not what I mean) I so long to have a  kids and a husband! To fall madly in love with a wonderful Godly man, to court him, to grow old and gray with him and be with him for the rest of my life, I so much want that. This is something I have wanted for quite a few years. Now before you go and get all weirded out, I am not talking about now! Goodness I am only 16, I am referring to in the next few years. 

Some of the things that cross my mind, and that I keep telling myself about this situation is "Bronwyn you are only 16" "Isn't God enough for you?"  and one of my favorites "Yes God is enough, but God  said: Delight yourself also in the LORD: and He shall give you the desires of your heart." God gave us the will, and ability to want, to desire things. God wants us to have great desires, God wants to fulfill those desires, He wants us to be so very happy! God has placed us here on this earth to multiply and make many, He wants us, He loves us so much, so much more than we can even begin to imagine! So I might have to wait a few years :( to see the greatest desire of my heart, but I can have peace in the fact that I know beyond any unreasonable doubt that God is faithful, and if He says I will give you the greatest desire of you heart, then I believe him and I will receive the greatest desire of my heart!